Dear New Neighbor Guys....

I just thought I would pass this on to you, since your new in the neighborhood...
If you want to make friends, please dont peel out backwards from your driveway at 30 plus miles per hour & screech into the street from your blind sighted driveway.. alot of us have children..This is not a good way to make friends.

Please dont throw car batteries against the ground.. its loud, and not very smart.
Also, when your driving your truck into small trees in your back lot, please, refrain from doing it at 3am, my 2 year old gets scared when you get stuck on top of a tree & are revving all night to get your redneck truck out.

And neighbor, please, you & your friends, dont jump the other neighbors fence for the very first time to "introduce yourself" to me & my kids ( after you've met Mike) and then give me the eye & act like a macho man, in front of my husband..

Dont try to impress me by talking about my garden, my apple tree, or to my children. I'm married.

Also, bragging about your MBA, in "well..business!!" and then talking about all the places "Washington is going to hire me.. they want me bad.." (Mike asks) Washington what?? To which you reply "State!" as if My husband is a fool.. YOU sound rather silly..

Please, dont walk around our yard, touching things, the grill, the tables, etc.. Its an invasion of privacy, jump fence, say hi, give wife the eye & then touch mans things. Not a good way to start a friendship buddy..

And please, keep your motorcycles out of the back yard once its dark, my kids are in bed..
So I ask you nicely, dear neighbor..Please..

SHUT THE *&%^ UP.

Sincerely,
Claire