Argh..

Do you want to know what drive me NUTS????

Women.

Yep.The whole female gender in a whole. I was that girl in high school...people talked trash about me.. people hated me..people spread humors about me.. And the funniest thing was? I didn't ONCE date a guy from my high school & all but about 1 of my friends didnt even go to that school or know anyone who did...that everyone just flat out HATED me..and NO one actually knew me... Where these sad petty girls got their ideas to spread rumors from, I have no idea..What possessed them to trash my house with toilet paper & other unmentionables is beyond me. On that's right..I had a boyfriend in EIGHTH grade for TWO weeks and then for some reason, everyone decided they hated me when school started up & I had been the first to date this "new guy to town"....Everyone told me after high school, when the guys I'd just graduated with came crawling for my attention (pathetically might I add.. I don't give people time who cant talk to me unless their friends arent seeing it) "Everyone hated you because your pretty"

Wow..REALLY??? So I was prettier than Queen Bitch & her acne ridden friends & I didn't let them walk all over me & cower from their insults?? Do you know how pathetic that is?? Not only did I at that time, but I do now..I no longer think they're horrible people like I once did when I was the victim of their insecurity, but I feel sad for them..that they were so insecure, so sad about what THEY were, that they had to randomly pick on someone based on something as callus as her looks...

Needless to say, I graduated High School & got the hell out of dodge..for the time being... But never the less, I never looked back to my high school years or the people in them. Its only been since my sister got mer to join FaceBook that I've seen what people from high school have been up to..and no..I havent been shocked..Everyone is pretty much where I expected them to be, with perhaps one or 2 exceptions, like this one awesome mom of 3 boys I know ;-)

Here is what DOES still bother me.. Women NEVER grow up. EVER. I can say this with out any doubt.

I was living in Florida, miserable beyond anyones imagination, and I found the online world of Message Boards..What a sad mistake that was ( in some ways & yet not, in others) I thought "Oh!! A board for women due in July of 2006!!! Like me!!!" and started posting...I found other boards.. cloth diapers, breastfeeding, whole forums for women who were into the same things as me..

Well.. to make a long story short..I've found women who swap their husband with their best friend, do sexually disgusting things WHILE pregnant, who set other women up in terms of the legal authorities, who take childrens photos & use them in disgusting ways to enact revenge on other women over NOTHING, and women who just flat out BASH other moms for no other reason, but in my mind, to make them SELVES feel good. I'm not talking about high school women here..I'm talking about GROWN, married MOTHERS & WIVES.

YES I believe everyone is entitled to their own opinion & no I would NEVER want everyone to agree with me all the time..but ya know?? Since finding the online forum world..I've learned why some of my old friends havent wanted to have kids ( as they say ) "because I don't want them to live in what our world is becoming" If these are the women raising the youth of our country..I personally am scared for what their children will become with them as a guide.

When women dedicate all their time to bashing other womens birth choices, commenting that a c-section isnt even "giving birth" or that they are sexually abusing their children by nursing them past the age of one, or when they form the same sad cliques that were once in high school to gang up on someone that they have no idea of anything about this person... I just find that SAD and pathetic. I think its sad that they have so mucn time to devote to the internet, for one, but mostly I think its sad that these mothers could be out playing with their children, while they are instead huddled around a computer, calling someone on the other end a dirty name just to get them riled up & to start some drama so that they can feel a little excitement in their obviously lonely lives..

For example...While we all know I am pro breastfeeding, I understand some women do not wish to do so, for whatever their reason may be..But there are the women who give excuse after excuse ( which I encountered much to my disappointment when I myself was pregnant at a get together) " Breastfeeding is AWFUL " " Its SO hard" " Its impossible to produce enough milk for a child.."

Did you know only 1% of women CAN NOT produce milk???? ONE percent people.. I admire women who flat out state "I just didnt want to breast feed, it wasn't for me." But then there are the women who make excuses.. "I wasn't producing enough".."My milk dried up.." etc etc etc.. Did you know there is a solution for each of those issues?? If you wanted it bad enough, you would have made it work...

My issue is not with not nursing or not cloth diapering or not co-sleeping or vaccinating your child..My issues is with women LYING about their parenting choices due to the guilt & shame that they, themselves feel with in.. Those LIES HURT future mothers.. A new mother hears how painful & traumatic birth was & that breastfeeding is disgusting & awful & in the back of her mind, it scares her off & she doesn't give it HER best try due to some mother who put it out there to make HERSELF feel good about her OWN failure..

I guess my issue is this..

OWN IT.
Make a decision.. make whatever choice is best for YOU and YOUR family..and OWN IT. do NOT make excuses, do NOT make lies or exaggerations .. just admit the truth, don't hurt future mothers, don't inhibit them from trying something that didn't work for you due to your own shame of failure..Admit "I did ___ " or "I wish I did___" and MOVE ON.

We are all our own person, and guilting someone else to believe they are bad people, or unsuccessful, or doing "it wrong" is just as bad as being back in high school slinging rumors at the girl you secretly envy due to your own insecurity...

Grow up, get over it, Move ON. Stop being so caught up in how you feel about YOU that its worth ruining the future of our world for your own self preservation.

...No wonder I don't have a ton of friends....

I love...

..my friends!! Sierra, Hailey, Pam, Jess, Angela, Sarah, Kayla..all the lovely ladies who leave me comments..I just smiled reading every ones comments about loving their chiro so I thought I'd mention it...

Andy is sitting with me singing "I Kissed a Girl" that & T-Pains "Apple Bottom Jeans" and the beach boys "Kokomo" are his favorites.. My kid ROCKS!!

So, a brief update.. Andy pet Pam, the wife part of the chiropractor office & she adjusted him the other day..he freaked out when I laid him down on me but once she started "doing popcorn on his back" he LOVED it.. sweet boy! And of course..I'm impressed because she called today (Sunday) to ask how Andy was!!

Apparently not only do I have scoliosis but I have degenerative arthritis is L3 & L5.. I'm, at Stage 1..so that's good...I'm going 3 times a week for I believe 2 weeks? The down to 3, then down to 1 then down to once every 4 weeks.. They are only charging me $7 per visit after My insurance stops covering the first 12 visits..which is amazing.
I'm taking Ryan with me on Monday, the 2 of them will go once a month, our insurance overs 21 visits a year for those under 21. (and only 12 for those over 21..weird huh???)

So..yesterday Andy was staring out the window at this large flock of birds, laughing as they flew between the ground & a tree & I set Ryan up next to him to watch too.. It was quite sweet...Ryan would turn from me, to the window, to Andy, back to me & giggle & smile as if to say "This is great! I love this!!!" Andy would giggle at the silly birds & Ryan would giggle & look at me to make sure I was *getting it* too..
My mind just said "They ARE best friends"

And then this morning Andy came to touch Ryan & give him his morning kisses & he said "bes frends" .. I said "what buddy??" Sure enough..Andy said BEST FRIENDS about him & Ryan & I nearly died of happiness, LOL.

I am SO lucky.. I have 3 amazing children..oops.. 2 amazing children & ONE awesome husband ;-)
I have great friends, a loving awesome family & we may not be rich in the sense of money, but I am richer than Bill Gates or Allen Greenspan when it comes to richness of life!!!!!!!!!!!!

xo's!

Welp..

Man.. my house is a MESS.. I just slammed the chair into the table & a bottle of Chipolte Cracked Pecan Air Spray came tumbling at my head!! Yikes..

Eh.. it can wait..I dont want to bend over today....

So! I thought I'd just blog instead of emailing the people who wanted to hear about the chiro =)

Yesterday I felt ALOT better, but by the evening I was nearly in tears my back hurt SO bad.. So, early to bed.. Ryan randomly woke up HYSTERICAL at 12am..he NEVER does this.. He always wakes up at 5:40something AM soaked through his diaper & outfit & wanted to play.. for an hour...I lay there & will him back to sleep while he smacks my face a bit.. Yay.

Got up today, felt alot better than last night! Mike starts joking about how I'm going to have this super sexy chrio who will have me bend over & touch my toes ( which he did!!) and he will "check me out with his tool" and I'll say (use silly girly voice) Oh..handsome Mr. Chiropractor.. More pressure right thhherrreee!!!" ((this is where he makes a eye lash batting slutty stupid girl face gesture)) In fact..he was teasing so much I got NERVOUS!!!

So.. I told him I'd put on extra makeup & to take care of the boys when I run off with the back cracker ( who I actually called b/c the name was a woman, lol) and kissed them all & left..

Got there, saw a pamphlet about kids Vax's.. Huh.. open it.. Its ANTI VACCINATION!! I about peed myself.. a medical professionals office who I found that doesn't believe in vaccinations?!??! Holy crap.. So they have me watch a little video, he comes & this really big, muscular bald guy comes in... Oh..this is the husband..its a wife & husband practice!! "Mike would laugh" I think..
After chatting about kids, vaccinations ( or lack there of) the hormones in milk & the benefits of organic and or home grown food I think we both were quite tickled ( for lack of better words) that we both knew so much about these same subjects! I have yet to meet someone in this area who has even some of the same views as I do on vaccinations, much less a medical person!!
When I said "personal exemption" in response to his "dont let the school pressure you, they'll tell you its mandatory but you can have.." and his eyes actually twinkled to realize I knew what I was talking about & I felt sort of like "Ha!" LOL.. I think people often think I have no idea what I'm talking about b/c I'm so young.. some people just sort of give me a humoring look when I talk & dont actually treat me like I know my stuff.. jerks.

We talked about Mike, who he said he can definately work on ( for Mikes degerative disc disorder..) and about having 2 boys ( they have 2 boys too!) He even asked about the nursing ( since I had to list it on the info sheet) and seemed pretty shocked for how young I am that I knew all this stuff about health benefits, etc, he even said "Wow, most young people who have kids just stand in line for whatever they're told!!" We chatted about everything from what my parents do,to how he'd like to get some tattoos but "I work with older ladies..and that scares them" to how he only buys milk from a farmer down the road & they get 90% of their food from "soem Amish guy" LOL..And he even talked to me about the children he works with ( he has a play room for kids & a board full of patients pictures) i told him Andy would freak out & he said he didnt think so.. so we're interested to see what Andy thinks tomorrow!!
It was quite different than a regular doctors appointment!!! Its nice to have someone tlak to you thats on the same page as you & isnt talking down to you in terms of medical care, which since i'm nursing, I find alot of doctors do, they treat me like I'm an idiot because they dont know what a nursing mother can & can not take in terms of medication, and I do.,. they look at me like I'm making it up, or I should "just supplement then" @@ Right.. I'm going to give my child formula b/c you think this L2 med "isnt safe" and you wont Rx it for me b/c I dont use formula??? Okkaayy..Obviously..thats a story for another day, huh??

So..I got some X-rays.. apparently I have some scoliosis in my lower back! Which is funny b/c you know the *test* they give you in elementary school to check for it? I got a call back to be re checked.. my mom had told me I have a slightly twisted/set at an angle part of my spine in the lower part..So this was interesting to hear!!

So..then I got 10 minutes of Elect.Stim on the lower back & then he snapped, cracked & pop my neck & back for a few minutes.. Quite interesting!!

Then he says "well, we'll see the rest of the x-rays tomorrow & figure out a treatment plan..so..bring your husband & the kids & we'll get to work on him tomorrow too!"

So, I go back in the AM, My mom is going to watch Ryan so we'll take Andy, see what he thinks he can do for Mike ( I'm really interested to see what could come of this for him!) and then we'll go acrossed the street to our favorite dirt cheap awesome Mexican joint!!

I called Mike & told him "Its true..I'm in love" & thought of how Angela said shes in love with her chiro.. LOL But then I told him about how we talked about vax's, tattoos, even how he knoiws exactly what Mikes problem is, he has some friends that got out of the Army with a back problem just like Mikes..and I told Mike "but You might fall in love too!!"

So, I get to meet his wife tomorrow, he told me to make sure I tell her who I am so we can talk about "stuff" ( I'm assuming that means the natural ways of parenting we both do) which I'm excited for. I'm never met ( in real life) Other families in this area like this, so thats exciting all in its own!! My mom was saying that alot of chiropractors seem to be more into the holistic side of medicine & he obviously is, so I'm pretty pleased! I'm sort of hoping I can get some more info about childrens doctors in this area from them, the boys doctors are nice & all.. but... eh.. Well.. you know.. LOL

So.. there ya have it.. I'm about to become a back gimp like my husband & my dad.. ( Dad.. since you've admitted to reading my blog, I'm been waiting for something to force a comment out of you..if calling you a gimp wont do it...I dont know what will!!!!) Hopefully this will help me out & the pain will go away soon, Mike will meracuously make a wonderful recovery & be able to feel much better on a daily basis after his visits..and maybe I can even talk my dad into going!! (I'm telling you dad, maybe it'll help!!!)


Today has just been a good day!! Its rainy, Mike & I watched some LD ( Thats Larry David for those of you who arent lucky enough to know).. only 2 esisodes leeffttt!!! eek!! I made a "big salad" for us for lunch while both boys napped.. I got some books & DVDs at the Library & now we're all hanging out eating strawberries!! I like days like today..I wish we had them every day!!!!

Not my day...

Lets see... Ryan is a cranky teething fool & any time you leave the house for a second ( take mail to the box, take the trash out..) Andy rips off his diaper then tells yo when you walk in the door "Go Potty!' while ...well.. entertaining himself..if you know what I mean..
Today he took off his diaper, peed on the floor then cleaned it up WITH his diaper & then put the diaper in the trash... All while I walked a letter to the mailbox in the front yard!!
Hes been telling me "go potty" AFTER he pees in his diaper..soo..I figure its somewhat of a start!!

Ryan was waking up this morning & I sat on the end of the bed, Andy came in to crawl on the bed & I leaned over to pick him up & suddenly this AWFUL pain just shot down my back. I couldnt even move, much less stand up!! I laid there for a minute shocked & then dragged myself up, went to pick up Ryan & once I bent half way over I couldnt get back up!!! It was seriously AWFUL! So I called Mike & he said he'd come home ASAP b/c I couldnt even bend to pick Ryan up..I told him to stay at his class but come home after his lab...

My dad came for lunch & after sitting eating & he left my legs were starting to get shooting pains inbetween going NUMB!! (My doctor doesnt work on Wed..btw..i already called to ask) So Mike comes home & tells me to go to the ER..I go.. watch about 3 16 year olds light their cigarettes &* then lean over to coo at a BABY... ((gag)) and then sit in the waiting room for over an hour while person afte rperson came in..Finally I couldnt sit there any longer, my legs were killing me & Mike had a night class so I went to a walk in Med Center ( Urgent Care) That was an even bigger waste of time.. The guy lifts my legs, has me bend over & then tells me I strained my back & to take it easy..He would like to give me a muscle relaxor and pain pills for the next few days but I'm nursing..
When I was pregnant with Andy I learned.. doctors are idiots.. And when he was born, I learned.. they're not as educated as one would assume!! Much less about breastfeeding mothers..so I bought a copy of the DOCTORS guidebook "Medication & Mothers Milk" by Dr. Hale to have on hand in the car for doctors..like this one..

So I get it & we look up Ultram & Darvocet & they are L2's... an L1 is perfectly safe for nursing moms.. nmo worries.. an L5 should NEVER be taken.. so.. on the scale an L2 is just fine for a mom to take for a day or 2 if she needs.. I mean.. if your going to take it daily for a year..it might not be a good idea, but a few days or a week? Not a big deal.. so I say "Okay, well then I guess I'm okay with that" he says Ok..
Leaves..a NURSE comes back to tell me "He looked it up & it isnt safe for you so.."
She gives me my spript..for 600mgs of Motrin..Um..I can just take 3 of the ibprophen I have at home & it'd be the SAME thing!! Needless to say, I didnt bother filling that & just went home & popped some of my own motrin! Now that vent is for a whole different day.. doctors & their ignorance of lactation education... ((sigh))

So.. I finally was like "This is silly" and started lookign through our health insurance books..I've never been to a chiropractor, I assumed a doctor had to send you.. apparently not. So, I have an appointment on Friday morning. They were so VERY nice & made sure to tell me if I'm really hurting to call tomorrow & they'll work something out to get me in tomorrow.

So.. I'm hoping these people can just snap something in place & I'll be good as new, but at the same point.. having someone snapping anything in relation to um..your SPINE kind of creeps me out!
What the hell do you wear to a chiropractor?? Do you have to wear one of those scary buttless gowns or do you just wear your clothes.. Someone tell me what to expect!!!

So..yeah.. September is off to a GREAT start @@

I never claimed to listen well.....

..My entire life I have been saying my sister & I are 7 years apart....


..Apparently we are "almost 6 years apart"


WHAT IS THAT!!!!!!!! I certainly am bad at math but HOW have I lived my ENTIRE life thinking we're 7 years apart????? WOW.

So..this is my retraction to my previous statement.. My sister & I are "5 and a half years apart"

..Sorry Misch.. but either way..your still kinda old..eek!

Well this just makes me sad....

"Thanks to a coup by local vegetarians, the king of the jungle will be stepping down from his place on the menu of the South Philadelphia Tap Room.After a six-week reign, SPTR chef Michael Zulli has decided to stop dishing up lion after receiving numerous letters critical of his decision to serve feline. "Why do we need to eat lion?" says Christine Stover, one of the chef's critics. "It seems like such a ridiculous indulgence." This comes despite the fact that the restaurant procures the meat from a federally licensed farm in Illinois that raises the African cats for human consumption.Zulli plans to continue serving other exotic meats including ostrich, boar and bear. "I'm not doing game as a gimmick," he maintains. "I like exposing people to ingredients and flavors that are interesting and unique."

Now dont get me wrong..I am an avid meat eater..I could quite possibly live on sausage/bacon/ham/steak if need be..but I the first time I ever cooked a whole chicken, I nearly thre up in the sink as I rinsed it off & ealised..THIS was where the head was..I could see if clucking right before my eyes!!!

I hate the thought of eating animals,but I really like meat..I'm a sucker for a nice medium premium steak ( although I dont know why, my parents are well done'ers all the way) There is something just fabulous about a nice piece of good steak cooked just right so the middle is still nice & pink & juicy.. But then I remember..its a cow.. and that does make me sad..

Unfortunately..not sad enough to stop eating them..What a hypocrite I am huh??

But come on...LION???

That just feels wrong to even READ!!!!! What do you think????

"Not that you lied to me but that I no longer believe you - that is what has distressed me."
-Friedrich Nietzsche,


"Suffering is nothing. It's all a matter of preventing those you love from suffering."
- Alphonse Daudet


"Most of our faults are more pardonable than the means we use to conceal them."
La Rochefoucauld