Argh..

Do you want to know what drive me NUTS????

Women.

Yep.The whole female gender in a whole. I was that girl in high school...people talked trash about me.. people hated me..people spread humors about me.. And the funniest thing was? I didn't ONCE date a guy from my high school & all but about 1 of my friends didnt even go to that school or know anyone who did...that everyone just flat out HATED me..and NO one actually knew me... Where these sad petty girls got their ideas to spread rumors from, I have no idea..What possessed them to trash my house with toilet paper & other unmentionables is beyond me. On that's right..I had a boyfriend in EIGHTH grade for TWO weeks and then for some reason, everyone decided they hated me when school started up & I had been the first to date this "new guy to town"....Everyone told me after high school, when the guys I'd just graduated with came crawling for my attention (pathetically might I add.. I don't give people time who cant talk to me unless their friends arent seeing it) "Everyone hated you because your pretty"

Wow..REALLY??? So I was prettier than Queen Bitch & her acne ridden friends & I didn't let them walk all over me & cower from their insults?? Do you know how pathetic that is?? Not only did I at that time, but I do now..I no longer think they're horrible people like I once did when I was the victim of their insecurity, but I feel sad for them..that they were so insecure, so sad about what THEY were, that they had to randomly pick on someone based on something as callus as her looks...

Needless to say, I graduated High School & got the hell out of dodge..for the time being... But never the less, I never looked back to my high school years or the people in them. Its only been since my sister got mer to join FaceBook that I've seen what people from high school have been up to..and no..I havent been shocked..Everyone is pretty much where I expected them to be, with perhaps one or 2 exceptions, like this one awesome mom of 3 boys I know ;-)

Here is what DOES still bother me.. Women NEVER grow up. EVER. I can say this with out any doubt.

I was living in Florida, miserable beyond anyones imagination, and I found the online world of Message Boards..What a sad mistake that was ( in some ways & yet not, in others) I thought "Oh!! A board for women due in July of 2006!!! Like me!!!" and started posting...I found other boards.. cloth diapers, breastfeeding, whole forums for women who were into the same things as me..

Well.. to make a long story short..I've found women who swap their husband with their best friend, do sexually disgusting things WHILE pregnant, who set other women up in terms of the legal authorities, who take childrens photos & use them in disgusting ways to enact revenge on other women over NOTHING, and women who just flat out BASH other moms for no other reason, but in my mind, to make them SELVES feel good. I'm not talking about high school women here..I'm talking about GROWN, married MOTHERS & WIVES.

YES I believe everyone is entitled to their own opinion & no I would NEVER want everyone to agree with me all the time..but ya know?? Since finding the online forum world..I've learned why some of my old friends havent wanted to have kids ( as they say ) "because I don't want them to live in what our world is becoming" If these are the women raising the youth of our country..I personally am scared for what their children will become with them as a guide.

When women dedicate all their time to bashing other womens birth choices, commenting that a c-section isnt even "giving birth" or that they are sexually abusing their children by nursing them past the age of one, or when they form the same sad cliques that were once in high school to gang up on someone that they have no idea of anything about this person... I just find that SAD and pathetic. I think its sad that they have so mucn time to devote to the internet, for one, but mostly I think its sad that these mothers could be out playing with their children, while they are instead huddled around a computer, calling someone on the other end a dirty name just to get them riled up & to start some drama so that they can feel a little excitement in their obviously lonely lives..

For example...While we all know I am pro breastfeeding, I understand some women do not wish to do so, for whatever their reason may be..But there are the women who give excuse after excuse ( which I encountered much to my disappointment when I myself was pregnant at a get together) " Breastfeeding is AWFUL " " Its SO hard" " Its impossible to produce enough milk for a child.."

Did you know only 1% of women CAN NOT produce milk???? ONE percent people.. I admire women who flat out state "I just didnt want to breast feed, it wasn't for me." But then there are the women who make excuses.. "I wasn't producing enough".."My milk dried up.." etc etc etc.. Did you know there is a solution for each of those issues?? If you wanted it bad enough, you would have made it work...

My issue is not with not nursing or not cloth diapering or not co-sleeping or vaccinating your child..My issues is with women LYING about their parenting choices due to the guilt & shame that they, themselves feel with in.. Those LIES HURT future mothers.. A new mother hears how painful & traumatic birth was & that breastfeeding is disgusting & awful & in the back of her mind, it scares her off & she doesn't give it HER best try due to some mother who put it out there to make HERSELF feel good about her OWN failure..

I guess my issue is this..

OWN IT.
Make a decision.. make whatever choice is best for YOU and YOUR family..and OWN IT. do NOT make excuses, do NOT make lies or exaggerations .. just admit the truth, don't hurt future mothers, don't inhibit them from trying something that didn't work for you due to your own shame of failure..Admit "I did ___ " or "I wish I did___" and MOVE ON.

We are all our own person, and guilting someone else to believe they are bad people, or unsuccessful, or doing "it wrong" is just as bad as being back in high school slinging rumors at the girl you secretly envy due to your own insecurity...

Grow up, get over it, Move ON. Stop being so caught up in how you feel about YOU that its worth ruining the future of our world for your own self preservation.

...No wonder I don't have a ton of friends....